Avatar

Avatar
2009
Directed By James Cameron
Cell Block Rating: 3 out of 5

James Cameron is an amazing individual. He makes a movie about a sinking ship (that everyone knows is going to sink) and fluffs it out with a hokey love story ("teach me to spit like a man") and shatters all domestic and worldwide box-office records in the process. Eleven years later and Titanic is still the unadjusted box-office champion. And now he has unveiled Avatar and it looks like when all is said and done he will have claim to helming the two biggest blockbusters of all time (unadjusted....I'm picky about that). While I'm still puzzled by Titanic's staggering box-office, it was a decent film that women of all ages seemed to promise to "never let go". It was number one at the box office for 15 weeks. If you follow the box-office, then you know that is an amazing stat. Avatar has been in theaters for two weeks now and is drawing crazy numbers. Two weeks at number one with both weekend grosses north of $70 million for a total domestic tally of $212 million. Internationally it has grossed $405 million for a worldwide total of $617 million.....IN ONLY TWO WEEKS. Titanic's worldwide final tally was $1.6 billion and while its a longshot that Avatar will eclipse that total it should easily take over the #2 position from The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King ($1.12 billion)

Staggering numbers from a movie that really isn't that good.

Last Tuesday the wife and I made the journey to our local cinema and payed an extra $3.50 over the standard $8.50 for the right to view Cameron's Avatar in glorious 3D. $24 just for two people to view a movie. When we first started dating 16 years ago $10 covered us both. Anyway, we made it to our seats, donned are Real3D glasses and prepared ourselves to be amazed. Now, least you think that I'm just a James Cameron hater, let me state right her that Avatar is visually stunning, made even more so by the 3D treatment. Keep in mind when watching Avatar that at least 90% of everything you see on the screen is CGI. Despite the fact that not long from now in this review I'm going to be blasting Avatar for its story I do indeed recommend that you go see it. Avatar is an event movie that you not only should see, you really need to see it in 3D on the largest screen you can possibly find.

Avatar is the dumb cheerleader of the movie world. She's fun to watch jump around in her cheerleader outfit but after ten minutes of talking to her, you're ready to shove rocks in your ears just to make the madness stop. Avatar's plot and script is atrocious. There is not an original theme in the entire movie. If you've seen the following movies...

--Dances With Wolves
--The Last Samurai
--The Matrix
--Braveheart
--Aliens
--Return of the Jedi...

then in a "cut & paste" type of way you've already "seen" Avatar. It is so utterly predictable that it borders on insulting. My other major gripe is his thinly veiled characterization/portrayal of the U.S. as the evil corporation. Cameron can do better than this because he HAS done better than this...many times. So despite all the "pretty" Avatar brings to the table I don't forsee it having a spot in my DVD collection unless it finds its way to the $5 bargain bin one day.